Theadora Sue Gets Married

IT was a dark and stormy night. The prisoners were fast asleep in their little stalls, moved there from their previous positions of being chained to the walls in one large group. Some were snoring, others silent. A small coal fire was smouldering in the corners of each prison cell; at least the Wizard had enough of a conscience to keep them warm. After all, what good were dead prisoners?

The Wizard made his way, with his Secretary of Defense guiding the path with a halogen light. The great leader was determined to make Theadora Typhoon his wife, and had the proposal memorized. Who would be stupid enough to turn him down?

As the fearless duo approached the prison, some of the inmates stirred in their sleep. The Wizard walked behind, while the Secretary held the light toward each cell, looking for Theadora. Then they found her, curled up in a corner of her little cell, hugging her pink fleece blanket close to her.

"AHEM!" The Wizard cleared his throat, tying to awaken Theadora.

"I said, AHEM!" This didn't seem to be working, so the Wizard said her name: "Theadora! Theadora! Time to wake up and get your wedding dress on!" Such panache.

Theadora moved slightly, mumbled something in her sleep, and rolled over, closer to the wall. Each prisoner had a small bed to sleep upon, but it was very uncomfortable. The Wizard tried once more to awaken his princess.

"OK, THEADORA! THIS IS YOUR WIZARD SPEAKING! I ORDER YOU TO WAKE UP!!" That worked. Theadora jumped up so quickly she bumped her head on the stone wall.

"OUCH! Why did you do that? I was having a beautiful dream and you ruined it!" Theadora rubbed her sore head, scowling at the Wizard.

"I am here to rescue you, fair maiden. You are to be my Wizardess at exactly 11:00 tomorrow morning. You have to be ready by 10:30. Your Maids in Waiting and Waiting will prepare you, you know, the usual bathing in three thousand flowers and a massage with ten thousand oils. Your wedding gown is ready for you, so you better be ready!" The Wizard swept his robes up and turned to leave.

"Wait a minute, Your Highness! I didn't say I'd marry you! Just who do you think you are?" Theadora was furious.

"Why, I am the Wizard of Ozbama, and all my subjects obey me without question. Including my soon-to-be wife and Wizardess. You have no choice, Theadora, so get some beauty sleep and see you in the morning!" The Wizard the Secretary of Defense left without another word, while Theadora stared at the departing couple with a mixture of awe, fear and anger.

"That no-good Wizard! I'll show him. I won't show up." Theadora said this out loud, but a prison guard heard her.

"I wouldn't do that, Miss. You'll be sorry . . . . better to marry him and gain your freedom. You don't really want to be in here the rest of your life, do you?

"Well, no, I suppose I don't, but marrying the Wizard isn't exactly my cup of tea either!" Theadora sat on her bed and contemplated her next move.

"I would advise you to marry him, don't get any ideas about escape or trying to stay in your cell. Just marry the guy, what have you got to lose?" The prison guard looked enquiringly at Theadora.

"Well, I suppose I could marry him. At least I will be out of here and in the Palace that should have gone to my Uncle Harry."

"That's the right attitude, Miss. You won't be sorry. You'll make a great Wizardess, too. Just imagine yourself, side by side with the Wizard, doling out justice to your subjects, enjoying the best food, clothes, shopping sprees to Neiman Marcus. Now, go back to sleep, and dream of your dream-Wizard." The prison guard spit onto the floor, straightened his armor and returned to his post. Theadora was wondering what she would wear to the party after the wedding ceremony, when one of the prisoners whispered her name.

"Miss Typhoon? May I ask you a great favor?" It was a smallish man with loads of dark hair flopping over his brow who was imprisoned for trying to sell a Ministry seat.

"Why, of course. What is it?" asked Theadora.

"When you are made the Wizardess, please try to get us all out of here! We aren't criminals, we just disagreed with the Wizard. We don't belong in prison!" The prisoner looked around to see if any fellow prisoners were awake, but all were sleeping soundly.

"I'll do the best I can, er . .-"

"Ron, just call me Ron. No one can pronounce my last name."

"O k, Ron. Uh, I'll try, truly I will. But no promises!" offered Theadora, the soon-to-be Wizardess.

Theadora tried to go back to sleep but was too excited. The prospect of marrying the most powerful man in the universe was too much for her, and she remained awake all night, scheming her schemes. Yes, this would be a rather enterprising union, with her brains and his power, they could go a long way.